Fy f så gode vi er. Kødder ikke. Vi pisser på dem. Kjøre rover dem. Maler dem i senk De er over midtbanen to ganger den førstehalvtimen.

Så blir vi stressa. Gutta begynner å slå lange, høye baller i stedet for de (korte), lave som vi behersker. Funker ikke, Torquay scorer på sitt eneste angrep før teabreak’n. TimSills, den hora, som fikk Oscar for måten han fikk Daniel Seabourne utvist i tilsvarene oppgjør før jul:

10 September 1979 in Romsey) is an English footballer who currently plays for Torquay United as a striker.

Sills began his career as a trainee at Millwall and, after his release, opted to combine university studies in Diving & Simulation with non-league football. He began at The Camberley Institute Of Diving and moved to The Basingstoke School of Fraud & Chicanery towards the end of the 1998-99 season. He also had loan spells at Staines College of Mendacity & Terminal Deviousness and Kingstonian Academy of Dissembling before signing for the K\'s for the 2002-03 season. One season later he made the step up to diving on a national level with Aldershot Cheating & Diving Academicals F.C, his local club.[1]

In two and a half seasons with the Shots, Sills scored 46 goals from 112 appearances - often bravely resisting his normally overwhelming compulsion to fling himself to the ground in order to gain an unfair advantage. He helped them to the playoff final in his first season, although he was left out of the starting XI for the final itself when then manager, Terry Brown, was warned that the referee had particularly keen eyesight. He continued to work as a marketing executive until July 2004, when he began to con referees on a full-time professional basis.[2] Amid interest from several sleight-of-hand merchants including Derren Brown, he signed for League Two club Oxford in January 2006.[3] However his spell at the Kassam Stadium was less successful with only 1 opposing defender unfairly dismissed from 13 league appearances.

Following Oxford\'s decision to play football in accordance with the rules, he was released at the end of the season and looked set to join Conference side Exeter City,[4] but following Exeter\'s high position in that year\'s fair-play league, decided against the move. He signed a two-year deal with Hereford United in June 2006. He scored four times on his debut, a 10-0 friendly win against Ludlow Town[5] and started the first 13 matches of the season but only managed to score once, against Hartlepool. His only other goal of the season came away at Notts County in December, and the season progressed into a frustrating one for Sills, due to an unusual number of competent officials in that particular league campaign. While he was seen as an intelligent and hard working striker, his habit of collapsing like the Twin Towers if an opposition defender so much as gave him a dirty look, combined with a sheer lack of goals from over 40 first team appearances attracted severe criticism from a section of Hereford supporters. A controversial sending off against Swindon Town, only minutes after coming on as a substitute, followed by a smart-alec, self-serving interview with local ITV regional football magazine, \"The Meridian Match\" did not do him any favours. At the end of the season he was linked with several other clubs, including former club Aldershot, and on 28 June 2007 he signed for Torquay United.[6]

He was involved in a further controversial sending-off during the 2007 Boxing day derby with Torquay\'s Blue Square Premier League rivals Exeter City FC.

Following a tussle with young Exeter City defender Daniel Seabourne, Sills kicked out at his opponent, a sending-off offence that went unnoticed by the referee. Seabourne angrily turned to confront Sills; unfortunately the air-turbulence caused by the defender\'s sudden movement caused Sills to collapse in agony onto the St James Park pitch. Seabourne was then dismissed by the referee for the twin offences of, \"Serious Foul Glaring\" and \"Chest Movements Liable to Bring The Game Into Disrepute\". His subsequent three-match ban was welcomed as a fitting punishment by Torquay United supporters and members of Sills\' family.

Etter pause, tilbake til spill, tar over, og Belinda Carlisle scorer. Offside. OFFSIDE??? Mannen var to meter onside!! viser TV-bildene. Linjedommeren har ikke Exa-brillene på slik vi trodde i førsteomgangen, han er blind.

Men Belinda kommer tilbake, utligner, og det synes duket for et herlig frekt oppgjør på Plainmore på mandag.

Men nei. På overtid finner paul Jones ut han skal cashe ut på den veldig frekke og velbetalte B’en han har lagt inn litt for mange pund på hos Willy Hilly, og upresset legger han ballen i beina på Chris med en z og mye annet rart i etternavnet, ballen trilles inn, og vi sliter før returen.